I need to hear and feel you....

You need to take the good days and hold onto the pieces of them that made you smile because the bad days are pure and utter hell. You try to pick yourself up but you fall backwards, you try to breathe and you can't, you need to eat and you can't cook, you need to get things done but you can't focus. You need to feel normal but all you feel is the lump in the pit of your stomach that feels like someone kicked you and its bruised and you feel the literal hole left in your heart. You begin to feel guilty because society tells you get back up, push forward and keep going. So the voices in your head say "stop being a baby". Grief is cement pure and simple. You can see the blue sky but you just can't reach it because every memory, every piece of him around you and every raw emotion pulls you back into the depth of indescribable despair. One tear flows down your cheek and turns into two and turns into screaming and anger. Its hard, its exhausting and its relentless. I miss you, I miss your voice and I miss your presence. Forever & Always



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