Sorry I have not written for a while. I have been going through a lot of anger issues and resentment over Terry's death. It is a deep process that at times, rocks me to my core.
I have realized that when you have a good day you must be prepared to have several bad days.
The amount of energy it takes to function on good days will literally wipe you out.
I just did my first full week back to work and it was exhausting. Even though I am only working three hours shifts it has been very hard. Today it looks like it all caught up. Tired, nausea and lots of belly pains.
I have been missing you so very much the past couple of days. I am not feeling you around me and it is absolutely terrifying. The days are long and my mind wanders.
I hate that you are gone, I hate that I am left here without you and I hate that people (bad people) are left behind here. It makes no sense to me what so ever!
Pushing through and being strong is getting harder everyday. I thought it would get easier but it is not.
Tonight I am going to just be in the moment and rest so not much writing.
I love you, I miss you and I am empty without you.
Forever & Always